Sunday, January 30, 2011 1/30/2011 11:53:00 PM
how do i get confidence if the people around me think im stupid and fat and ugly? some are meant to have it, some are born with low self esteem and others just slowly built on it using experience and life. and the people in my life are just putting me down.
~ you're everything I need 1/30/2011 12:11:00 AM
i don't know what to believe; the words in my head or the actions proven to me?
but i'll remember 29 jan 2011 as the day you told me you love me.
~ you're everything I need Monday, January 24, 2011 1/24/2011 10:58:00 PM
i don't feel well enough to go to school. not even well enough to play games on fb. i just want to lie down and forget about ip project.
this week gotta finish ip by tues night, actually wanted to finish today but.....
study for ct test on wed on tues night after ip, but i think its open book so....
finish cgc drafting by thurs
START MY PROBATE!!!! don't want to ruin last min shopping trip.
shit. tomorrow have consultation for ct project. i don't blame malini for not starting on projects because i myself also no time. so i think i just do more skeleton and muscles to my ip then try to conjure something up to show joyce low tomorrow. (:
~ you're everything I need 1/24/2011 12:27:00 AM
i know im having issues with my relationship. and honestly, im confused. how can some couples 'pretend' to know that what they have is a stable and long lasting relationship? i thought there is no answers to this kind of questions? i have seen 'stable' couples breaking up the next day because the love suddenly just disappeared like that or there was a problem long ago just that they covered it up nicely until it exploded. vice versa, there are also couples who quarrel everyday and everyone thinks that they wont last but they did.
my bf never says his feelings, just like most guys. but im hoping that the reason why we are still quarreling is because he still loves me. i like to keep things simple. if there is love, then you have a stable relationship. and please grow your hair quick quick. if not next year calendar all your head like botak like that, not nice.
~ you're everything I need Saturday, January 22, 2011 1/22/2011 10:54:00 PM
i don't like tampines' poly clinic. only open for appointments on saturday. then people like me who went all the way there just to see the doctor end up have to pay expensive bill at private gp. then the doctor so rough, poke at my wound with the cotton to clean it. and now its still leaking some water and blood stuff together. waste my money.
officially dislike couples who keep making people think that they are very happy together, like being all over each other in school especially when they are in classes. or show online that they are a couple. like if you miss your gf just msg or call her? need to post online so that other people know?
my doctor say i cannot have any trauma. if not later the wound will split open.
~ you're everything I need 1/22/2011 12:26:00 AM
I really had enough. I thought at least i was entitled to a bit of pamperness. But i only got blame for being stupid
~ you're everything I need Thursday, January 20, 2011 1/20/2011 01:56:00 AM
sooner or later i think i gonna blow up also. people in school make me pissed off, go chalet also see certain people behave until like that i also sian. i angry also no body side me.
little bit also can angry, since i not worth it jiu walk away and don't come back. so many pass relationships the guy treat me like dirt, have a stupid temper. i don't need one more who thinks that he can scold me whenever he wants. i said sorry for my mistakes, you don't believe it then too bad. im not gonna be like the small girl that always let people scold and keep quiet about it. i thought that love is greater than anything, you trust wholeheartedly, you talk nicely to each other. now you want to be so negative about this relationship? continue throwing your temper for the little things like my ex and you end up my ex. ):
~ you're everything I need Tuesday, January 18, 2011 1/18/2011 11:21:00 PM
I am very unhappy with my life. I got so many projects, no time and not fit enough to swim and exercise, i dont have nice figure or a pretty face with good complexion, my bf not from tp to pei me eat lunch everyday so i skip meals, i totally cannot eat anything, i thought i was having swensens for dinner but we were outside pizza hut, i only can sleep in one position every night, i got phobia of presentations for tomorrow and above that, my bf keep cutting short hair instead of keeping ah beng hair even though he know that it was the reason why i was attracted to him. ):
~ you're everything I need 1/18/2011 12:31:00 AM
i think im a bit dumb dumb.
almost thought that i use my mc to print my school notes.
forgot about all of my deadlines for test and projects. and i don't have a personal assistant to remind me of my school work. maybe tomorrow i will check all my deadlines. maybe... unless i forget about this also.
banking test was okok, can see which area of law ben ang was asking for. IP consultation with annie postpone to tomorrow. i think its better because i got the time to see doctor to change dressing for my wound, and i think we are not very prepared also. after that went back to see wendy yu for sip feedback. if only i did my report 1 day earlier, i could have better grades. just by binding my report together or get a file or something for it. wasted. oh, and i have a stupid ex bf who like to tell tales to show that he very man or what. no wonder he is ex bf, i feel disgusted to even say we used to date. should have calmed down before i talk back, can solve problems more easier. and im sick, like fever sick and not enough water sick. tomorrow got to start on probate and a bit of revision for friday's test. omg, 12.40 already!!! okok. sleep!
and jackie tan, i trying not to stalk you anymore. bye
~ you're everything I need Sunday, January 16, 2011 1/16/2011 03:42:00 PM
i didn't want it, but you wanted this to happen.
you are ok with it, im not.
i shdn't have told you, but i did.
bye
~ you're everything I need Saturday, January 15, 2011 1/15/2011 10:56:00 PM
i survived my op, with no fainting just giddiness after the medication wore off. it was my first experience and hopefully no second op and no more lumps. my wound is still bleeding so got to see doctor to help me clean up on monday. i got a 14 day mc which i might not use because of class test and projects. ):
reached kk early in the morning. the doctor quickly poke the needle for me and push me in the theater. after that i breathe in the strawberry oxygen mask and i didn't know that i knock out until i woke up in the resting area at 10.30 i think. so i thought, wah i not bad, never vomit. so the nurse let me drink water and let me walk outside to the chairs part. then i vomitted twice and felt giddy after that. so had to sit wheelchair back in and lie down again. and was given lollipop by the nurse. and they had to keep taking my bp because its super low but i went home after a while in the giddy cab.
~ you're everything I need Monday, January 10, 2011 1/10/2011 11:52:00 PM
i am not very smart, nor hardworking. but i am lucky enough to find people who are willing to help me. hopefully their information is useful and i got enough brains to understand it.
~ you're everything I need Sunday, January 9, 2011 1/09/2011 10:03:00 PM
i need to let go of the past. and hold on to what i have now. period.
~ you're everything I need Saturday, January 8, 2011 1/08/2011 10:38:00 PM
good news : i finally satisfy my craving for muruku and munching on it now.
bad news: i am snacking it because someone is out there partying and getting drunk, maybe with or without other girls, i don't know. but im sad and disappointed.
~ you're everything I need Thursday, January 6, 2011 1/06/2011 11:51:00 PM
i wonder if guys find it cute when their gf snores? like the way we think they are hot when they are drenched in rain. (:
and open house starts today. and this year was supposed to be my happiest year because its our last open house. but the same usual reasons also spoil my mood. and i don't like the way my printer has no brain. and i was silly enough to let it print in colour also. couldn't print my last page of tut materials because no more colour ink. so i tried continuing in black but now the printer don't allow. so i thought nevermind, one last page i share with my friends. then i realise i forget need lecture slides also. i try again, it still doesn't let me print. stupid!
anyway, i have outgrew certain things. now even if my bf ask me go club i also don't want go. unless its his birthday. and im sick of being angry when he go drink or club already.
~ you're everything I need Tuesday, January 4, 2011 1/04/2011 11:09:00 PM
today is quite an important day for me. its one of the days that i actually finish my project and handed it in one day before. one reason is i don't have lecture at 9am, and even if i have lecture, i know i will be late for the handing up time. secondly, i don't want to spend the whole night doing my project.
but ever since SIP ended, i just have this feeling that my project, report, answers to tutorial are wrong. since young, i always had the confident feel in me that my answers are accurate and i get disappointed when i get back my test papers. so now, even if i hand in my project early, i still think about it and try to find some mistakes in it.
done with reflection. had to celebrate my hand-in-project-early day. so i force bf to watch movie with me. and The Tourist is a super nice show. i think its the first time a show had me thinking. inception didn't get me to think so much, because its only at the ending and it felt like it spoilt the show instead. but tourist is different. it had me thinking about it for the duration of the movie and it made me happy when the answer is revealed at the end and have a happy ending. and when i board the bus back, i took off my specs and saw miniature fireworks made up of lights.
~ you're everything I need Monday, January 3, 2011 1/03/2011 11:50:00 PM
i need to watch my diet. im not only getting fat, my gastric starting to pua stunt any time it like
~ you're everything I need 1/03/2011 07:26:00 AM
You were the one that kept me alive. The one that told me not to harbour these thoughts in mind. Now that you are gone, what is going to keep me going in this world? I cant let go so easily like you.
~ you're everything I need 1/03/2011 12:10:00 AM
i can't do this. i can't cope with school work, medical check ups and heartache at the same time.
i really don't know how to let go and move on. if you want to, you can walk away first. when im ready, i will walk in a different direction.
~ you're everything I need Saturday, January 1, 2011 1/01/2011 11:19:00 PM
maybe this is for the best? because i always had issues with trusting people. and after so long i still can't trust you when you go out with your friends. still can't believe that maybe there is one guy that will never cheat or lie or hide things from his gf. i have seen so many guys cheating when they had a gf for don't know how many years and appear like the perfect couple in front of other people. but their closest friends know that he occasionally club with other girls or hide things from their gf. just that they kept quiet about it. so long as they think that 'the grass is greener on the other side', they will definitely cheat or have thoughts about someone else.
~ you're everything I need 
Doodle
