<3

sharon, shi hui
child of God
JAEL and AAR
27 may 1991
nineteen
temasek poly

toner cartridge

Loves

dance
cookies and cream
chocolate coated strawberries
popcorn
books
elmo
orange

Hates

smokers
bitch
bastard
liars

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digital camera
outings
birthday surprise

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stupid day at work. now i really really won't miss that damn place when i leave. good riddance to you bitch!

~ you're everything I need
had bf stayover yesterday. and we had a new activity that we can continue doing in genting with bigger room and bigger beds. (: lucky i have this bf to be with me through my ups and downs. even though we recently had nothing but fights, i didn't bear to break up with you. i love you.

~ you're everything I need
every month i put my hopes on you. and every month i get disappointed. until now i learn not to expect anything from you. thats why i stop putting in effort. that was the last time i will make something for you. i don't want to waste my money, more importantly, my effort and love into something you chuck in the drawer. by the time you realise and start giving in, its too late. my feelings would be gone by then.

~ you're everything I need
i think it was yesterday that i had another weird dream. but the dream is full of impossible stuff. i'm gonna name all the weird stuff.
jackie, ch and i went to my secondary school and ch drove us there(1.ch come to my school for what? 2. he don't even have a car). i think there was an event or game thing. then i had to find the room with the teacher to answer a few questions. i don't know how but i just followed wendy(3. wendy not even a teacher, why she at hs?) into the staff room and found andrew chia(4. he is tp teacher, not hs) sitting there. then he interviewed me. then later jackie said that ch going tecktonik later. then they going practice or what. so i went home, i think i fell asleep or what because when i climb out of bed and look out the window i saw snow covering the ground(5. singapore where got snow? 6. i stay so high how to see the ground until so near?). so i quickly pack my bag and rush out. when i in the lift i realise i left another bag in ch car so if i bring another one later jackie scold me. so i wanted to go back up then the lift spoil. then got some jc people walking down the stairs then they told me to play with the toy at the side then the toy will press the 'emergency button'. then i realise that the lift not like lift like that. its like a box with opening and the height half my body only. so i can actually climb out. which was what i did after realising that the emergency button don't work(7. this whole part damn weird can. got jc people and weird lift and toy in life). then jackie keep messaging me to reach at 9.30am to watch the performance. i didn't reply because i was lost in the HDB flat. i cannot find my unit and i keep thinking i stay at 10th floor. then at 9th floor got unit number is #10-** one.

until today i realise i stay at 5th floor. (waste time dreaming)

next week last week of SIP! can stayover at jackie's liao.

~ you're everything I need
its cute when your guy wants the whole world to know that you are taken.

~ you're everything I need
Quarrel yes, but forgetting your promise, it never occur to me that you would forget simple things that you promised me. But i think my heart died tonight. You can continue with your hurtful words and forgetfulness. Because starting tonight, im not sure whether my heart will continue beating for you. How important i am in your heart, how much would you do for me, how much have you let me down, making me so disappointed. Only you know, and i wont ask you whether you love me.

~ you're everything I need
at first i wanted to talk about some girl that i use to know in school who turn up to be a slut. like a real bitchy kind of slut. but now, i realise my own problem, i don't even care what she does outside with who at where.

because i don't know what my current feeling is. is it because i use to throw a big fuss over this until im used to it, or i just stop caring. but it felt like such a waste. perhaps you can tell me whether you are still worth it or not? if not i don't see the point and don't want to waste any more efforts trying to hold on. because when the time comes for it to end, i don't want to cry, much less beg you to stay.

~ you're everything I need
sorry boss, i overslept till 8.40 so i didnt have enough time to prepare and go to work. and i got an mc and slack at home and watch disney classics instead. (:

~ you're everything I need
If you respect me, treat me as your friend and family. The least you can do is not to scold vulgurities in front of me. Especially when you know what i dont like to hear it. If you are angry, use a better choice of word. If you are scolding for the sake of scolding, dont say you are my friend. Because all this just reflects on what kind of person you are. I remembered in year 1 i told someone who got hurt by politics like me, its small actions by someone towards you that show what he/she think about you. So keep the big actions and show me that you are attentive towards me. I dont need big stuff to show to others. So long as i know how you feel, thats enough.

~ you're everything I need
do i really have to do things by myself so that i can get what i want? so now i have to be alone and work hard? i don't want to be disappointed anymore. just because its not important to you doesn't mean that it is nothing to me as well.

~ you're everything I need
when the boat reach the harbour, it will naturally be straight.

and thanks to whoever that help stop my boat from sinking.

~ you're everything I need
i don't like being alone.

~ you're everything I need
i don't know what to say. i don't even feel like speaking anymore. i promise myself that this is the last time i will put in effort and money. no more. even if u regret and want my efforts now. nope, u go get your own. (:

~ you're everything I need
i want my furry friend.

~ you're everything I need
this is boring shit. its gonna be monday again. but its ok. i will endure and wait for 3rd december. and there are so many things for me to look forward to in december. im getting my new hairstyle no matter what. and maybe even doing my hair on 3rd if i really cant wait. by then i think i will have my very own nikon s3000. and a wedding to attend to. even if its only in the afternoon i also don't mind. at least i get to dress up. and find excuses to take picture with bf. then a few days later and its christmas. shit, how to shop for bf when i always meet him? double SHIT! how is my bf going to shop for me when he never shops? and he go out with friends also don't shop what! must hint him when the time comes. then a few days later we are off to genting. when we are back, its almost new year. so maybe (i doubt my bf will buy, but i can hope) i will get another present. wah, december like shiok sia. so many presents. (:

but now only 7th november. i still need book timing to collect passport. hmmm.. what to get him for xmas???

~ you're everything I need
can i have an order of jackie tan, upsize please.

~ you're everything I need
i don't see the need to treasure what we have anymore. at least, not until you prove to me that you treasure the same thing as well. don't even bother acting like you feel guilty or what. because i will know that you are lying to me. i wanted to use strong words. but also because i still treasure you, thats why i can control myself. so does it mean that when you lose your cool, you don't treasure me? if not why can't you think twice before you say something? if i really wanted to, i could have done the same thing and go out with other guys what. not as if i don't have friends to go out with. have you ever thought about why i'm still at home? of course you never think. because im nowhere near your heart!

~ you're everything I need
i know change is the only constant thing around this world. and people change alot in their appearance as well as their personality. same for me, according to vanessa, my ambitions change like almost everyday. and thanks to my teacher, wendy yu, for enlightening me and telling me that what im experiencing is called discovery. finding out who i want to be. for career and for character.

but why some people can have change so drastic that im not sure who they are anymore. and somehow, i feel sad too. because its either they wanted to change or i didnt realise that they were this kind of person from the beginning.

现在我有了你, 我还怕什么?

and i went all the way to little india to do my hand-na. and chance upon a small cafe that serves good food with nice atmosphere and got candle somemore!!!! at least i can say that jackie got bring me go eat candle-lit dinner before. yup, and my spelling is so horrible until even the smart ones can understand what im spelling.

~ you're everything I need
i don't know why i'm so stubborn. refusing to say out my true feelings. refusing to do things that i think shouldn't be done. and just quietly wait for things to be done by someone else. hopefully the jackpot is hit. when it doesn't i quietly cry at home instead of hitting the jackpot also.

~ you're everything I need
The more i sit at my office, the more lonely i felt. I need a time machine. So that i can apply to another firm, so that all the unhappiness caused by me will not happen. I need you to tell me that everything is ok. Everything will be fine after awhile. But i know that wont happen. Bye.

~ you're everything I need
maybe its time for me to let go. its also the first time that im not throwing my temper or making a fuss about things. its time for me to keep quiet. ):

~ you're everything I need