<3

sharon, shi hui
child of God
JAEL and AAR
27 may 1991
nineteen
temasek poly

toner cartridge

Loves

dance
cookies and cream
chocolate coated strawberries
popcorn
books
elmo
orange

Hates

smokers
bitch
bastard
liars

Wishlist

digital camera
outings
birthday surprise

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kelvin
kenneth
ken
lawrence
lin hui
min yee
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pei shan
qing long
quanzee
sarah
shi hua
si rong
stanley
stephanie
ting wen
wei lun
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Maybe its a good thing wendy told us not to anyhow blog or post stuff abt our workplace. If not i will just complain from day 1 till now.

I just thought that maybe i could use with alittle bit more respect. Even if im just an intern for 11 weeks. But i see the way you treat people, i guess it still reflects what kind of person you are. It shocks me to see that you are just as rude to other people, because i thought that maybe to you im an intern so no need be so nice to me. Anyway, i can see how you climb your way up, by sucking up.

I almost wanted to break down again, by the way im being treated. But as i walked home, i just felt a sudden urge to give money to this old auntie playing music at the side. I continue walking but decided to turn back as i didnt want to keep thinking about how i wll feel if i didnt give her $5. There wasnt a box asking for money, but i gave it to her anyway. Other people will think that im mad. Or waste money. But it made me realise that no matter how other people treat me, there is someone else worse. And if i am capable of making someone happy, why not? And after i walk away, i wasnt upset at all. Maybe its all in the head, but i even seem to walk faster with lighter steps.

I will keep hoping that someday, someone will do something simple to make my day a special day. I will try and stop asking or even expecting you to do anything. Afterall, i never really tell you what i wanted, i just assumed that you felt the same way. And when you never seem to think in the same way, i get upset. So what for i expect so much? I rather just not do anything and be happier.

~ you're everything I need
seriously, sip is screwing up my head. today had the first visit with LO. i didnt know that other people actually felt worse than me. so maybe i should slow down and just enjoy the 9 weeks left. and im even shocked by my own answers to her questions. what i thought i liked wasn't what i want now. and sip is making me having headaches every night just before i sleep. then how am i going to have a good night's rest? i can't even recognise my friend when i saw him in the mrt. i have to think for a few minutes before i remember. play game to relax end up got another headache. i need to invest in a good shoulder and neck massage thingy.

~ you're everything I need
i need many many money!!! to hire someone to massage me from top to toe. especialy my shoulders and my calf. ache like what ):

~ you're everything I need
Im not gonna give up. Because if i dont treat myself like im the best, nobody will treat me better.

And i guess people always change. For better or worse, thats a different story.

~ you're everything I need
yesterday had a nightmare about exams. was supposed to have a law test at 4pm, so i went shopping before that. then realise that im supposed to be having 2 more papers before that. which means i missed it. so i chiong to school in a cab, and was worrying because i don't have mc means i failed the 2 papers. so i ended up talking to the taxi driver about it then he say he can help me, and he driving on the left side somemore. so i left my number with him and rush to tp. then don't know why tp suddenly got stairs then have to run out. by then already pass 4.30pm, means i can't enter the exam hall. and my seat number is 117799. (siao right, where got so many seats one) so i tried to go to business general office and try to beg and plea and seek help. then they say i have to choose 3 cds to replace. so i said, can meh? all my papers is law papers can use cds to replace?? they say nevermind so i choose lor. then got 1 cds about elmo, one about stones and got some about sun or colours or whatever. then i woke up.

~ you're everything I need
i think my legs might be getting a little bit skinnier. should i keep doing what im doing and aim for 'skin and bones'? or do i look ok now? what if i keep getting fatter and fatter until nobody wants me??????

spent the whole day rotting at b's home. next time should slack at my house instead. can sleep in aircon room the whole day. but he still have to download movies for me. i want cartoon! and why does the weekend goes by so quickly???? have to sleep more, if not everyday headache.

~ you're everything I need
went to office feeling like shit because i got headache. ):

lucky no work tomorrow, so i can enjoy fb and sleep for 2 days. had lunch with boss and janice and janise. ate from 12noon to 3pm. super shiok and its FREE!!!!! but keep talking to them is tiring. because their conversation too difficult for me to understand.

i've always wondered what defines 'perfect couple'. and now that i've figured it out, im smartypants sharon.

i always thought that handsome + pretty = perfect couple
but now, i know perfect couple = jackie + sharon

even if i always jokingly say that we are the best couple, i never really thought that way until now. i continue thinking that those couple who always appear very sweetly to each other is the perfect one.

and i realised that its impossible to know whether they are really happy with each other and not just acting. afterall, each and every couple will have their fair share of arguments, its only a matter of time and whether you know about it. and how will you know whether one of them ever lied about something or keep things from the other party? because they might not tell you about the things that they have done.

only the couple will know how happy they are, honestly, they don't need to bother about how other people rate their happiness level. and only the couple will know what and how to make their gf/bf happy. i'm happy, and if you are, isn't that enough?

xoxo,
Smartypants Sharon
(i talk so much also don't know what im talking about)

~ you're everything I need
Am blogging from phone for the first time. Because my www is down.

Day 4 at work and i cant be bothered with fb anymore. During work cant use i can understand. After work the internet always down and never comes up, and i dont wish to wake up early just to use the computer when i can sleep abit more and take my time to relax and prepare for work.

Screw all the fish and farms that i have.
Screw bejeweled and be the one with no scores.
Screw my monsters that get killed.
Screw pirate ships.
Screw my millionaire enterprises.

Sometimes i wish you would ask about my day and what stupid things i did at work or whether everything is ok or not.

~ you're everything I need
day 3 at work. wore something simple and much much more comfortable and flats. i can walk so much faster. anyway, yesterday after work, in the mrt i give way to an ang moh and let him alight, he mouth 'thanks' and smile. then i realised that they are so much more polite and friendly. and singaporeans just continue pushing and put a frown on their forehead if other people block their way or what. no wonder we asians age so much faster than them.

today did whole load of work and still have work coming in at 5.30pm ): seriously, i know i'm an intern, but at least you have work you give me at 5pm? so even if i can't end on the dot its not your fault and i won't be so sad. must start mingling around already.

HAPPY MOONCAKE DAY!!!

~ you're everything I need
broughht slippers and mug to work today. drink from bottle and drink from cup really got different feel. have to try to mix and match to wear more comfortable clothes to work and still look professional. and work is making me feel hungry at lunch and dinner. later my butt become bigger and bigger. then bf don't want anymore ):

i'm sick of that sister. one say this, the other say that. then the 'elder' one like want to be in charge. okok, i purposely go to the younger one. (:

~ you're everything I need
my first day at work and i'm counting down already. hope i can continue to tahan for the next 10 weeks and 4 days. did shitload of mistakes today. postal code type wrong, name spell wrong, money enter wrong. worse of all, i accidentally close one of the windows that i'm supposed to print out. lucky got bf wait for me for 1 hour because i slow poke at work. don't even have much mood for dinner. and i got office mug and sweets to accompany me tomorrow. thanks for providing me my weapons to work. love you deep deep (:

~ you're everything I need
they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. its only because they haven't met someone who acts like absence makes the heart forget ):

tomorrow is start of sip for most of the business people. good luck everyone. and i decided not to prepare so much. because i'm lazy and i think i should just go with the flow. and maybe when i finish the whole 11 weeks, i will write a internship for dummies. i thought i wanted to sleep early. but i think now also too excited to sleep. jackie tan, if you see this, should i bring your mouse photo and put at my desk? and you want buy a office mug for me to make milo and tea over there?

~ you're everything I need
went out with quanzee today. this is most likely my last gathering with them before we all go sip on monday. ate just acia and went timbre for one drink before heading home. and they now still drinking there. hope they don't drunk. and i just washed my hair because its still itchy. and still have to see something i shouldn't see. now no mood for my durian mooncake.

~ you're everything I need
i realised that guys with or without gf, will still look at girls on the streets. but some of them know that they will still choose their gf even if the other one that walk pass is prettier. when young always see chio bu and ask number. now? the guys that are attached have gf that may not be chio. instead, they (including ann and i) are pretty and look super sweet when they take picture with their guy.

i used to have this friend who is the prettier one, the popular one with guys chasing her all the time. of course, when we were still friends i kept quiet when you dance with guys at club and i don't think he had knowledge that you went. because i vaguely remembered that he randomly text you asking you where you were. and you guessed that maybe his friends saw you. and then your will quarrel and you will club again. once you crashed at my house drunk after one of your jobs at a bar. you asked me to text your friend saying that you reached my house and don't text your bf. another time the topic of that particular type of photoshoot came up because i was looking at one of our friend's photo in her phone. you mention that you also accept those jobs. im guessing your bf had no idea.

and the whole time you were with him, your fb still put single. i know its only fb, but hey, if the guy is serious and wants to last long, i'm sure he will want to acknowledge on fb and tell other people that your are together even if all your friends already know. but you didn't like the idea that if your relationship is on fb, other guys will stop coming after you. you didn't even tell those guys that were interested that you were already attached. and just because some can help you with school work? or maybe some of them are rich or got car i don't know. and after a while i stop feeling inferior just because you are prettier. afterall, looks don't last. its your personality, character and all that.

soon, he left you and got together with another girl after a while. at first i thought maybe he was the bastard. for getting into another relationship so quickly. and yes, it makes it look like he stopped loving you and actually plan to break up for another girl.

but, you will want a guy who club and don't tell you? flirt around acting like he is single? this i don't know. because now i see him and his new gf. they are still together. she isn't as model-ish or skinny as you. but she is also pretty and the fb got put the relationship status. i'm glad i'm not like you and i know that your cliques also behave the same. (:

~ you're everything I need
i thought there's a slight chance to fall asleep beside you just before i go.
of course, thats what i thought.

~ you're everything I need
slept for 5 hours then head out for buffet. end up seoul garden was fully booked. so we changed to swensens instead. and ordered a table-ful of food until no space to put. after that go sing song then walk to mbs. this time in slippers. the feeling so shiok. if only go sip can wear slippers also. had heavy lunch also no use. now still hungry again but cannot eat. if not later will fat.

just randomly remembered a short convo between me and ann on tuesday when we were in bugis going to top one.

she saw some guy with ahbeng hair. then i told her that last time jackie also this hairstyle. thats why i noticed him in the first place. then we were going on about hair style must match face and all that to look beng. now i just remembered. he still look abit beng with that slightly long hair and specs. tsktsktsk. no wonder.

~ you're everything I need
shit la. seriously. i think i am supposed to blog but i really don't know what to say. sorry, i really can't say break up so easily like you. i cry, whine, beg, throw temper, do anything because i don't think should even quarrel or what. but if i'm not worth it, i guess whatever i say will never go in your head, or your heart. seeing the way you don't want to even reply me, i know abit no point calling you, or try to locate where you are. the last thing i wanna see is you smiling happily when you are with you friends like nothing happen. i rather be in self-denial. (put smiley also no use, because there is no emotion for heartbreak+crying+can'tbreathe feeling)

~ you're everything I need
went for my first virgin ktv trip with ann chuqiao and her friend kenneth. at first didn't really want to sing because i scared my voice not as nice as theirs. in the end also kena forced to. and i forgot what i wanted to post. ):

do you believe that you really is the only thing that i want?

until i'm, afraid that one day history will repeat and you will walk away from me.

Dear Santa,

Can I make my Christmas Wish now?
I have been a good girl all year round and will continue for the next few months until December. I wish that my boyfriend, jackie tan will dress up like santa (you) with the beard and fat belly and sneak a present into my room. And And And, I wanna kiss santa (jackie tan). Can???

Thnk You,
Sharon

ps. no santa suit red shirt also can. no white beard got goatee also can. and i think don't want belly la hor.

~ you're everything I need
tomorrow i decided to force my ass out of the house to go ktv and take pictures. at least it beats slacking around at home and wasting time and wait for bf to finish his paper. i need to learn to stop waiting. not as if he will think about how good it is for me to hang around when he study or simply just think about me. even ann also want spend more time with me.

(ok, sharon. shut up. stop complaining!
but but... i online for 30 mins and he never notice)

i'm gonna try to ignore and avoid argument so i won't be upset anymore.
i'm not gonna pua stunt anymore. you can do it, so can i.
if you don't miss me, then i don't show it.
if you want to do selective reply, i also do the same.
if you want to inform me stuff in the last minute, then i will learn from you.
but will i be happy? because everytime i can't force myself to be like you.

~ you're everything I need
went to dentist and did my tooth. 2 tooth somemore. no wonder have to pay $100 for it. then went to sengkang to get new phone. Lg optimus. until now i'm still figuring out how to use it. at night went to mbs for the first time and have to get flats because my heels still quite loose even after putting that gel thingy that doesn't work. and the flats were still new so it gave me water bubbles ):

~ you're everything I need
i'm having my sip soon. don't you want to spend time with me before i get busy and buried by office work?

~ you're everything I need
went to get hair rebonded at ite simei with ann. had to sit for 4 hours until butt pain.

maybe i'm the one that is making the mistake. ):

~ you're everything I need
office politics for dummies
rule 7 - it's every man for himself
face it. its a war out there in this world. where everyone only thinks for himself. me, myself and I. and the worse part? it happens everywhere to everyone. not only in office. but at home, friends and even people you don't know. so get your machine gun and start shooting! THE END (I don't want to write already, not because I can't think of anymore rules. but because I don't see a point in continuing. what for give false hope that you can survive in the office? people who can survive are born with it, they don't need guides. the rest? they are the victims.)





i wonder if i can find a family someday. not those that are blood related. because sometimes they just feel obliged to be your family. its those that wants to be family and go all out for you worth keeping. i have been a good girl for 19 years, try my best at studying, don't smoke, work and use my own money, come home early, don't scold fuck. and what i get? nothing, just your bossy ways. weren't you the one that taught and show me that money is important? now i throw your teachings back to you and i get scolding? you want to know why i choose my bf instead of my own bed? because he treats me like family.

fine, that was what i thought until he told me he don't want to be too sticky. ok lor, i like the sticky sweet what. cannot meh???? thats how i realised the whole world is 'me, myself and i' ): (its not everyday i use singlish in my blog, sometimes only) and maybe i should try letting you go. its not easy but i guess i have to. i never liked the idea of my output lesser than input. so maybe when i stop trying you will miss me and chase after me again. of course, you can choose to walk away also.

~ you're everything I need
office politics for dummies
rule 6 - don't try too hard
it is important to make sure your hard work gets notices. but trying too hard may just back fire. others will just take you as some bootlicker and now its even harder for them to give you a second chance. instead, work with a heart that is really hardworking. give it time, people will notice that you are genuinely working and not making sure the boss knows all the good things you did in the office.





dream 1 - something about ants invading my room and holding a rabbit and shaving all the fur. then end up the size like hamster but still rabbit face.

dream 2 - was with ann and went to play arcade with her sis and cousin. we played the air hockey but don't know why the table was spoilt and bent in a weird way. one side had the edge bending at 90 degrees exacting. then went to eat fried kway teow. and throughout this whole dream i kept trying to find my bf and he just didn't want to answer my calls or reply my texts.(maybe my subconscious telling me to just leave him alone? i don't know, but maybe i should) then ann's sis brought me up a hill and came to this long corridor with alot of ang mohs and my bf is there in his sec sch uni that has a bit of police taste in it. and he was unlocking doors for the ang mohs to move in.

dream 3 - lots of people knocking on my head and say that there is nothing inside because they hear a hollow sound. i woke up and hear hammer upstairs. ):

~ you're everything I need
office politics for dummies
rule 5 - find a best friend in the office
of course we all have our good friends before we even start working. but seriously, your friends can't be with you 24/7 right. i'm not telling you to dump your bff and find someone else. just find another best friend in the office. someone who is of the same rank as you. someone you can talk to. someone you can hang out with at lunch and after work. despite office politics, it is tough and rare but still possible to find someone that is really nice and not all out power-hungry in the workplace. this way, you still have someone to talk to if you fall into politics and become the victim.





finish my first paper today. mr daniel ng was like saying that paper very tough and don't worry about finishing all the questions because you most probably can't. well, even i left 2 marks blank, i did finish the paper before time. and before the paper start, went to the loo and walked into a cubicle that someone shitted in before me. the smell was unbearable, i nearly vomited there and then. holding my breathe didn't help, had to use my perfume. sometimes i wish i didn't try so hard.

~ you're everything I need
office politics for dummies
rule 4 - hold your tongue
always think before you speak. its not only about offending people with what you say. but be careful when you want to gossip. you never know when someone is just getting you to say something bad about another person. even if you have something to add on, don't. just try agreeing or act like you don't have bad encounters with that person you are talking about. if not, just listen and hope that others don't keep probing you to talk.






tomorrow is supposed to be a big day, but i don't seem to be nervous or stuffing my head at the notes. all the while since year 1, i don't really study much. i just read through and hope for the best. no wonder my results are so different from those who keep studying. but no point if i do the same, it just don't get in my head.

I NEED A STUDY BUDDY!!!! my bf don't want study with me and i can't study alone, if not i will slack off. (:

~ you're everything I need
office politics for dummies
rule 3 - don't argue
its never a nice scene when you fight with someone in the office. because, everyone will catch news of it within an hour. don't even raise your voice and let others have a chance to say that you have issues with someone. instead, let others know of your doubt in questions form. like, 'I thought this is supposed to be done this way?' or 'Maybe you can enlighten me, because i feel that.....' don't do 'What you said is WRONG! It should be like this!' and force your through. i'm sure nobody wants to be the topic for gossip for the office.





my make up finally came! and i had a fun time exercising my arms with the bubblewrap. after that went to collect photos and manicure. so glad that i tried a new colour instead of the usual red pink purple..... and i treat my mum to kfc, im like the best daughter ever.

~ you're everything I need
office politics for dummies
rule 2 - never make enemies.
try laying low for the first few weeks. see who go for lunch with who, who comes to work together, who leaves together, who don't talk to who. join them for lunch, and listen to their conversations and join when they talk about general stuff, but keep quiet when they are talking about a boss or fellow workmate. and until you figure out who each person really is, never step on their tail. because you will never know who might be friends with your boss' boss. meanwhile, just get along with everyone. make friends with the receptionist and all the secretaries too. most likely they are the ones with the gossips. and lastly, give a happy face. always.





i didn't get the guts to jaywalk and hope for the worse, i chose to believe in you. in us.

~ you're everything I need
office politics for dummies
rule 1 - on your first day, step guai.
give the impression that you are nothing but hardworking. even if you are not the smartest around it doesn't matter, people like hardworking colleagues. and do things the 'stupid way' until you find out the norm of how things are being run in the office.
for example, you want to make coffee in the pantry and you made a mess and broke your mug. take the broom and clean up yourself. don't ask the cleaning lady!!!!! its your first day, so show that you can clean up your own shit.





stayover yesterday night and jackie made chocolate fondue. so i was damn happy of cause. its not everyday that someone melts chocolate in the middle of the night for me. so i was happily eating even though he used dark chocolate and its only kiwi and apple. UNTIL JUST NOW.... i asked him why he decided to make fondue. he said, oh i was hungry and saw fruits in the fridge and wanted to make fruit salad. then i saw the chocolate, so make fondue lor. ): nothing about "i saw the chocolate so decided to make something special for you".

~ you're everything I need
yesterday had another weird dream about aliens and octopus. i think i watched too much pirates of the caribbean already.

anyway, the dream was about me and jackie watching the movie and then i was scared, so i asked him to stayover, but he said he needed to go accompany my mum(i don't know why) so he went off. then suddenly got some british soldiers came in and wanted to catch jackie. then he suddenly turn into some monsterous form and i looked up at the lights, there was a writing on the ceiling beside the round light - iamanoctopus.blogspot.com. then later at night went out to eat dinner and he told me all these while he had another gf. and tonight she joining us(i don't know why i kept quiet instead of making a fuss) and when i saw her i got a shock. she like super ugly with missing teeth, no wonder he chose me. (:

i'm starting this "office politices for dummies" tomorrow. maybe i might end up being a writer. (:

~ you're everything I need